nakakatawa nga naman

Nakakatawa nga naman o. You're so predictable. Alam na alam ko na mga gagawin mo kaya nga hindi ko na sinusubukang maayos ang lahat kasi alam kong hindi maaayos 'to base sa kung paano mo hinaharap ang lahat ng nangyari. Takas ka lang kasi ng takas. Akala mo naman naaayos na pero maling-mali ang logic mo. You just worsen the situation more and more. Kaya nga it's irreparable na eh. 'Cause you never really want to fix it or if you do, you want it to be fixed easily which isn't going to be the case. Sorry, effin devil.

Nakakatawa nga rin naman o. No offense to the person who told me yesterday na OK lang na pagdaanan niya lahat ng pinagdaanan ko for those few effed up months but I'd rather not go through everything I've gone through. Yes I am a better person now but I could've learned without going through so much suffering at the hands of the devil. Kaya nga worst mistake eh. haha. So kung pwede nga, why not? I'd gladly trade anything just to get that nightmare out of my life.

Natatawa na lang talaga ako sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko. Wala nang ibang magawa kundi tumawa eh. Natatak na siguro sa kukote ko na walang mangyayari kung iiyak-iyak at papatay-patay ka. Tawanan mo na lang ang problema at subukang lutasin ito nang may ngiti.

Parang sa demonyo. Tawanan na lang at sabihing, "Ingat ka. Tanga ka pa naman." =p

hoping

It feels so good to not think about devil-induced miseries anymore.

Finally, I'm on recovery.

I hope.

fffrance

I'm going to live in France! Sorry, Macau. Haha good day today except for some seconds when some nasty lump of shit crossed my eyes. Effin' eeewwwwwwww. Vou para Paris no Setembro!

And before I forget...

Oh yes, darling, I've always been the better person. And we both know that.

shoutout

YOU are the WORST mistake I've ever had.

never

I will never forgive you. Never waste my time again.

About different endings

Yeeesssss! Rob and Amber had just been eliminated in TAR:AS and what's more satisfying than that is that Charla and Mirna were the ones who beat them out the last minute. Love it, love it love it! Karma was just a bizzle for them for lying and taunting the crazy cousins that they were eliminated at the cousins' expense. Hahaha. Who's laughing now?!? Oh, another thing about the Amazing Race. The Philippines has twice created huge problems for alpha teams. Colin with his broken ox in TAR 5 and Rob with his intelligently spelled Phillipeans. Just shows how the country owns them all racers!

I am so looking forward to the end of the semester. I'm technically done by next Wednesday (without counting Law though) but I have to submit an album for Portuguese on next Friday. I really wish that it's already the 31st of March so that I'll be all done and ready to go for some weeks vacation. Buti naman, we're starting a week later than summer classes. We'll be starting out on the third week of APril but it'll all be hell from then on. Oh God, I hope I could teach my ANI kids pa rin.

I watched Brian's PE finals today and I just realized how I've devoted so less of the time for other activities. I haven't played volleyball in ages and I'm guessing that when I play, I'll be so rusty and amateur. Because I'm so much a nerd, I've forgotten to devote some time for physical leisure and I hope that's something I could change over the next few months especially that summer is approaching.

I just have a question though, how can you forgive someone who continues to make you miserable? It's illogical and stupid, right? 'Cause you're just telling that person to go on and make you worse. Well, that shouldn't be the case.

change the world now or later?

Activities for the semester are really coming to an end. I've received two certificates of appreciation/participation yesterday with two projects I volunteered to be part with this past semester. I also got excited for ANI this coming summer where I'll be teaching senior high school students. I'm going to teach Christian Living siyempre banal ako e haha and the section I'll be handling is the honors class. Yay! At least, I know these kids would really be into the subject since they're cream of the crop. Actually, I'm thinking of preparing well for the summer classes since I love teaching ANI. Oh, I hope JTA schedule does not get in the way or else, it'll be hard for me to let go of handling the honors class. :(

Past week, I've been through sessions regarding our purposes in life. Since most of the talks I went through are those of the social development kind, speakers talked about what we can do with the society. I remember that one of the speakers asked us what we can do for the country. Many said that they'd study well first since after that, they'll have the potential to be successful and therefore, have more power to help the needy. The thought got me thinking 'cause yes it's a decent thing to say but what can that money that you earn in the future do when the person you should have helped died years before you actually reached out? I mean what'll be the purpose of helping if many of the supposed people you should have helped have gone out already? Wouldn't that be more appalling?

Well, the thing that I'm saying here is that it's better to start early in helping others rather than waiting on till you've become successful enough. We can actually do something now in helping the least of our brethren. We should not be hindered by the fact that we are financially incapable yet of creating change in the lives of many. But we don't have to create that much of a change yet. We just need to start creating change to ensure that more people will be helped in time. What do you think would be more effective for a child. One wherein you hone them through their education years and help them develop to their full potential or one wherein the child is already in prison and the only help you could give is financial need? Wouldn't it create more impact and satisfaction if we start changing the world now little by little rather than having it later with one big shebang?

The task is daunting but the rewards would be better if we start early rather than late.

MSKM lessons on forgiveness and revenge

It's good that schoolwork is on a decline already. I've already passed my hell weeks for the semester and hopefully the final few weeks won't be much of a problem for me. Although my exam schedule is kinda not looking good since Law finals will still be on March 31. Wow. Sagaran blues talaga. Anyway, I really cannot do anything about that but at least I'll be resting before my exams start.

In television news, Maging Sino Ka Man has just gotten way more intense. Over the past three days, I've seen a guy shot, falling down the stairs, spat on the face of somebody else and beaten black and blue. Intense-an talaga! I got hooked on it again 'cause of those actually. For me, the series is a cut above the rest of Filipino primetime since the plot isn't as predictable as other shows of the same genre and the characters have depth as contrary to the black and white stereotyped kind of characters. Way to go, MSKM!

I guess the recurring themes in the series nowadays are forgiveness and revenge. It's the tension between these two terms that influences much of the characters in the series. Would Eli forgive and forget the demonic acts Fidel did to his brother and father or will he seek revenge through making Jackie's life miserable? Will Mang Oca forgive Fidel too or will he puppet Eli to destroy him? These are the questions waiting to be answered and viewers are constantly on a see-saw on whether forgiveness or revenge will triumph. Let's wait and see...

With this, I've realized how I handle forgiveness and revenge. I forgive deserving people and punish who don't deserve forgiveness. I mean I know that I should be forgiving but how can you forgive somebody who doesn't even ask for it and continues to ruin you? I'm more of a believer in justice rather than in forgiveness. I believe that if that person doesn't do you any good anytime then there's no reason for you to forgive him. Of course, after a long time, things may be forgotten but that I need a long time to do so.

"Kung lahat ng taong nagkakasala sa'yo pinatatawad mo, wala kang pinagkaiba sa basahan. Lahat ng dumi kaya mong tiisin." - Mang Oca, MSKM

Hindi ako basahan. Tandaan mo 'yan.

pineapple juice and university decisions

Well, nothing has changed with my stomach problem the past day. Aside from having fever scares by feeling so cold even though it's just 1pm, nothing much has changed with me. Though I might have found the solution to ease me with my stomach pains. Pineapple juice! Yay! When I downed one and a half glasses of it dinner time, the pain ceded so I do hope the juice did work some magic over my pain.

Actually, this painful predicament of mine has already taught me a lot of things especially regarding my dietary habits. Of course completely abstaining from chocolates and coffee would be impossible for me but at least now, I guess I can manage to tone my choco-eating down. Although, I'm still mighty craving for chocolate right now! But the dietary awakening isn't limited to chocolates only, it also extends to drinking more fruit juices rather than soft drinks. I guess I might join the little soft drink bandwagon already since it will be so much better that way. Since I've become more sensitive with the things I eat, I guess I'd be more careful with my diet right now and start eating healthy stuff from now on rather than the junk I've splurged on since before.

I've realized I haven't written about my JTA decision. Well, I opted for Macao over France since I feel that it would benefit me more. The major thing I actually considered was the financial aspect of the decision. Frankly, we're not rich so it would be more burdensome if I opted for France over Macao. Actually, my dad said OK with France already but he's just going to loan it. I don't want my father working the extra mile pa since being away from us is already difficult for him. What made me choose Macao actually was its Portuguese heritage. haha portuguese talaga! Boa ideia! Sim? I just love the Portuguese culture now and I'm sure that I'll be gushing over it when I get there in September. Senhor Capili informed me that though people generally speak Cantonese already, Portuguese is still spoken inside the University so I might just enhance on my Portuguese skills right now. Ooh, another thing to add to my pro-Macao list will be shopping! Brian said it's cheap there so I think I'll really be so in love with the place. Yay! I'm so excited already!

In other news, Ralf informed me about this:

our new schoolmate

cool huh? Hahaha :)

stomach pain temptations

A lot has happened over the past week but it all revolves around one major thing, my stomach aches. Well, it started last Wednesday 'cause I didn't eat lunch. So there, when I woke up in the evening, my stomach was aching terribly already and it didn't let me sleep the whole night. I had to skip my Thursday classes since I went to the doctor for a check-up. She said it maybe due to hyper acidity and that I have to be on medication and stay away from so many stuff that I like! God, no chocolate, coffee and tea for me the next week! I actually realized that those three comprise much of my diet nowadays. No wonder I'm experiencing stomach pains right now. Boo-hoo. So the pain hasn't ceased yet and I had to go through Friday and Saturday with much pain. I even had to cut NSTP 'cause my headache was too intolerable. I actually don't know how I'd get better now 'cause sometimes I feel lick I'm going to have fever while sometimes, I feel so hot! It's such a crazed rollercoaster of finding my comfort zone this battle with stomach pains. I hope I already get through this 'cause I'm really having such a hard time.

Well, since I have extra time nowadays 'cause I don't have much to do, I watched ANTM 8 on youtube! Yay! I watched the entirety of Cycle 7 on youtube and of course, that'll be the case for this new cycle. Right now, I don't have a favorite yet as nobody has stood out yet. Especially the black girls who seem to have no distinctive characteristic from each other. Oh well, I still have lots of episodes to pick my favorite and I hope I enjoy this season as much as I enjoyed the last one.

Sometimes, it's really hard to live out of your comfort zone. I thought I could fathom this being away from my chocolates and coffee but every minute, the craving just gets worse and worse. Ooh God, this is so much harder than being actually away from something 'cause then you'd not think about it after a while and you'd get used to it. But in my situation right now, it's too hard 'cause the things which I cannot have are actually right in front of me. The temptation is just too strong with this set-up! God, help me to cope up with this 'cause I'm going crazy over not having chocolates and coffee!!!

Pain, pain, go away, never come again any other day. Little Tantan wants some choco, pain, pain go away!