After such a long hiatus 'cause of the fruitless hell week that has been, I've finally found time to write in this journal of mine. Well, I still actually have a weekend, take note weekend, from hell with four long tests in four days. Of course, Sunday is not included naman but Friday, Saturday and Monday are just killers. Well, I just hope I'd get through it again without encountering as much disasters as I've had the past week. Haay. I just really can't understand why all of this is happening to me. I mean our presentation showed me the promises of the resurrection but then the actual things that happened to me just seems to be always passion and death. Passion and death. Parang wala na talagang tigil ang lahat ng paghihirap ko. Grabe 'yung trinabaho ko sa Theo tapos ganun-ganon lang mangyayari. Why can't like justice be always served? Why is life so unfair that I always seem to get the shorter end of the stick? Why o why, buhay?
From all of that has happened to me, I seem to find a common element that's somewhat disturbing for me. It seems that people really delight in my suffering. I mean I was really hurt that some people could make fun of my horrible theology presentation without even considering how I was so crestfallen after that. Also, I remember those times when people would joke about my misfortunes without even thinking how I'd feel with their jokes. And you who seem to have excelled at disrespecting me and making my life so much unbearable. I mean it's just too much for me. I know I've got myself to blame for being so immersed in anger but the taunting jokes I always receive don't help at all. It just pushes me further and further towards infinite hatred and anger. With the respect I receive from people today, how can people expect me to respect them in return? Yeah, and I'm very well aware of the mockery I'd receive of this tomorrow or sometime soon because of this entry. Common joke na 'yun eh.
It's OK if people still want to joke. I mean I still laugh at them most of the time. But those which are too personal and insulting, please, save me from such crass for I'm so sick and tired of being taunted at the expense of my suffering. It helps so much to be sensitive sometimes.
From all of that has happened to me, I seem to find a common element that's somewhat disturbing for me. It seems that people really delight in my suffering. I mean I was really hurt that some people could make fun of my horrible theology presentation without even considering how I was so crestfallen after that. Also, I remember those times when people would joke about my misfortunes without even thinking how I'd feel with their jokes. And you who seem to have excelled at disrespecting me and making my life so much unbearable. I mean it's just too much for me. I know I've got myself to blame for being so immersed in anger but the taunting jokes I always receive don't help at all. It just pushes me further and further towards infinite hatred and anger. With the respect I receive from people today, how can people expect me to respect them in return? Yeah, and I'm very well aware of the mockery I'd receive of this tomorrow or sometime soon because of this entry. Common joke na 'yun eh.
It's OK if people still want to joke. I mean I still laugh at them most of the time. But those which are too personal and insulting, please, save me from such crass for I'm so sick and tired of being taunted at the expense of my suffering. It helps so much to be sensitive sometimes.
No comments:
Post a Comment