i'm feeling helpless once again and it's the same person who destroyed my life who's at it again. I'm begging friends and other people out there to please help me with my dilemma 'cause i don't want to go back to those traumatic days.
Help me convince the devil that the way he treats me is so wrong and that he needs to change.
Please help me? text me and ill text you the number to contact.
I'll really appreciate if you help 'cause I'm feeling so helpless and vulnerable again right now.
:((
13 August 2007
09 August 2007
nobody
It seems nobody really cares about me anymore :(
Just one of those days when you feel like you can disappear and people won't really notice you're gone.
Oh well, baka nga it's really time for me to go to France so that at least I won't feel as lonely as I am feeling now. Haay. At para kahit papaano may makamiss saken ng kahit kaunti lang.
Counting down the days...
Just one of those days when you feel like you can disappear and people won't really notice you're gone.
Oh well, baka nga it's really time for me to go to France so that at least I won't feel as lonely as I am feeling now. Haay. At para kahit papaano may makamiss saken ng kahit kaunti lang.
Counting down the days...
07 August 2007
the bibliophile in me
Weather is just too gloomy nowadays with the rain. Yes, I know that the country needs rain but being a commuter, it makes life harder for me. Always being on the go to beat the rain and always being hassled with the umbrella. Hayayay. Ever since I started commuting naman, I never really liked the rain. Well, which commuter does naman diba? Pero sanayan lang so kaya naman.
Forgot to reveal yesterday that I finished reading The Husband by Dean Koontz. After my French lessons, I went straight to Starbucks here at Marquinton and got through it with an iced latte. Well, to tell you the truth, I expected much more with the ending but it's not because the novel was not well-made. It was and Sir Koontz is really a master of suspense. But being accustomed to the Filipino way of tackling dramas and thrillers that seemingly borders deux ex machina for its conclusion, I found the novel too light and concealing compared to our Filipino thrillers. So it's not really Sir Koontz fault but it's mine. haha. Matter of fact, I admire him for possessing such superb writing skills since he thrills you even if he has already revealed a lot of details. I mean isn't that much more of a challenge since you need to thrill people without being too concealing? Galeng galeng.
Now I'm actually looking forward to buying another book this time by another fave author of mine, Steve Berry. Haay, sarap talaga when you have such much spare time. Well, I deserve this naman right? Kaya ito, catching up on books I should have read if only I had time.
Testing the murky waters na ang drama...hmmm...ewan pero still having a hard time to trust that's for sure.
Forgot to reveal yesterday that I finished reading The Husband by Dean Koontz. After my French lessons, I went straight to Starbucks here at Marquinton and got through it with an iced latte. Well, to tell you the truth, I expected much more with the ending but it's not because the novel was not well-made. It was and Sir Koontz is really a master of suspense. But being accustomed to the Filipino way of tackling dramas and thrillers that seemingly borders deux ex machina for its conclusion, I found the novel too light and concealing compared to our Filipino thrillers. So it's not really Sir Koontz fault but it's mine. haha. Matter of fact, I admire him for possessing such superb writing skills since he thrills you even if he has already revealed a lot of details. I mean isn't that much more of a challenge since you need to thrill people without being too concealing? Galeng galeng.
Now I'm actually looking forward to buying another book this time by another fave author of mine, Steve Berry. Haay, sarap talaga when you have such much spare time. Well, I deserve this naman right? Kaya ito, catching up on books I should have read if only I had time.
Testing the murky waters na ang drama...hmmm...ewan pero still having a hard time to trust that's for sure.
06 August 2007
rising
As usual, I was late for French class today since I woke up late. Haha. Anyway, I'm really praying that somehow I'd wake up earlier tomorrow (which I actually doubt haha) so that I wouldn't have a hard time straining and stressing myself just to reach Alliance by 9ish. Please Lord? Never pa akong naging on time eh. Haha. Gogogo kaya to!
Last night, I really felt bad. It's just too unfair and uncalled for. I mean it's like the victim's the one being tried. You're the one who went through a lot and you're also going to be the person who'll need to endure such ordeal. Haay. I just hope someday fate will find a way to reverse the situation which hopefully would make somebody out there realize how wrong his/her current view is. Ohwell, only time could tell.
Just tonight, I remembered one of the songs which has always touched my heart and plated it with strength. Beautiful by Xtina.I won't be posting the lyrics here though but it just reminded me how life should be lived. Always feeling beautiful and always believing in one's self even though the world does you so much harm. Yeah, heck I am beautiful and I won't degrade myself to such a low level you're trying to make me feel. I am definitely better than that.
We're the song inside the tune, full of beautiful mistakes. Always remember that ok? :p
Last night, I really felt bad. It's just too unfair and uncalled for. I mean it's like the victim's the one being tried. You're the one who went through a lot and you're also going to be the person who'll need to endure such ordeal. Haay. I just hope someday fate will find a way to reverse the situation which hopefully would make somebody out there realize how wrong his/her current view is. Ohwell, only time could tell.
Just tonight, I remembered one of the songs which has always touched my heart and plated it with strength. Beautiful by Xtina.I won't be posting the lyrics here though but it just reminded me how life should be lived. Always feeling beautiful and always believing in one's self even though the world does you so much harm. Yeah, heck I am beautiful and I won't degrade myself to such a low level you're trying to make me feel. I am definitely better than that.
We're the song inside the tune, full of beautiful mistakes. Always remember that ok? :p
05 August 2007
when almost everything has cooled down
A week into my one month vacation and I find myself still busy with stuff mostly in preparation for my stay in France and orgwork. I'm actually not complaining 'cause I'd rather be busy like this than be immersed in the kind of work I had a month ago. Man, that was a killer. Haha. Well, past is past and if ever I get removed 'cause we really did not care about the delayed final Opman papers, I'm going to be OK with it. Besides, I've long realized how such incidence would be the end of me. So what diba? At least I've lasted this long and at least I still have time to do orgwork especially for Pathways.
Well, since last Monday, I've been commuting to Makati back and forth for my French class. I'm telling you it's no walk in the park especially the whole MRT part of it since every morning, I literally need to squeeze myself in and be aggressive in order to ride the train. Waaw, so hirap! Haha. But anyway, I've lived through the first week and I have this next week and 2 days the following to brave the current route I'm taking. OK lang naman na eh since I feel I've been accustomed to the conditions. Well, at least, I can now proudly say that I've commuted to Makati alone butbut I'm sure I'll still be lost the moment I get thrown off the beaten path. Haha.
French classes have been fun and exciting. Being my third foreign language, after forgetting my Japanese and trying to remember my Portuguese, French seems a little tougher since I'm having a hard time with pronunciation and all. But Portuguese actually helped me with my phonetics since its somewhat similar with the French. All those nasal sounds and the ever-lovable R sound, they really make my life easier. My professeur actually was Ralf's teacher in the Ateneo. Wala lang actually haha. Oh I remember writing about visiting Paris after my graduation for my final Portuguese composition. Well, that dream of going to Paris will come true in just a month na lang and I wouldn't have to wait for graduation. Haay, 1 month.
Butbut...Still Portuguese inside! Haha.
Pathways has been fun too. I saw my CIS kids again yesterday and I'm glad they have experienced ANI teachers. And they're all girls! So I'm really confident they're going to be taught well and they're gonna learn a lot of stuff this year. Oh I miss teaching and it seems I wouldn't be doing it for so long especially that I'm required to have OJT this year. Anyway, I still have the last two SAD sessions to concentrate on. (Damn, I missed the first one like for a few hours since my flight's going to be 1220 September 1 and the SAD session is like 12 hours later! haha) Well, I have the remaining three Saturdays to visit them and I'm going to be taking my leave of absence then.
Haay...just 20+ more days and I'll be leaving all of this for four months. Sad but I chose to traverse such path and hey, it's going to be an experience of a lifetime, right? So no worries :p
Well, since last Monday, I've been commuting to Makati back and forth for my French class. I'm telling you it's no walk in the park especially the whole MRT part of it since every morning, I literally need to squeeze myself in and be aggressive in order to ride the train. Waaw, so hirap! Haha. But anyway, I've lived through the first week and I have this next week and 2 days the following to brave the current route I'm taking. OK lang naman na eh since I feel I've been accustomed to the conditions. Well, at least, I can now proudly say that I've commuted to Makati alone butbut I'm sure I'll still be lost the moment I get thrown off the beaten path. Haha.
French classes have been fun and exciting. Being my third foreign language, after forgetting my Japanese and trying to remember my Portuguese, French seems a little tougher since I'm having a hard time with pronunciation and all. But Portuguese actually helped me with my phonetics since its somewhat similar with the French. All those nasal sounds and the ever-lovable R sound, they really make my life easier. My professeur actually was Ralf's teacher in the Ateneo. Wala lang actually haha. Oh I remember writing about visiting Paris after my graduation for my final Portuguese composition. Well, that dream of going to Paris will come true in just a month na lang and I wouldn't have to wait for graduation. Haay, 1 month.
Butbut...Still Portuguese inside! Haha.
Pathways has been fun too. I saw my CIS kids again yesterday and I'm glad they have experienced ANI teachers. And they're all girls! So I'm really confident they're going to be taught well and they're gonna learn a lot of stuff this year. Oh I miss teaching and it seems I wouldn't be doing it for so long especially that I'm required to have OJT this year. Anyway, I still have the last two SAD sessions to concentrate on. (Damn, I missed the first one like for a few hours since my flight's going to be 1220 September 1 and the SAD session is like 12 hours later! haha) Well, I have the remaining three Saturdays to visit them and I'm going to be taking my leave of absence then.
Haay...just 20+ more days and I'll be leaving all of this for four months. Sad but I chose to traverse such path and hey, it's going to be an experience of a lifetime, right? So no worries :p
22 July 2007
matapos ang kalbaryo
May awa ang Diyos. Haay salamat at nadaanan na rin namin ang mga defense at papel na 'yon. Nagpapasalamat ako at naging mabuti naman ang takbo noong mga iyon. Sa sobrang tuwa at gaan ng loob ko, napa-Eastwood (with Bso, Janice and Amelu), napa-MOA (with cousins 'cause it's Tita's bday) at napa-Shang(INT people) ako past two days. O diba? Inabuso ang kalayaan. Dahil nakakawala pansamantala sa kural, gala na ng gala. haha. Kala mo wala nang kelangan gawin. Hoy, isang linggo ka pa! Haha. Oh well, at least, mas kaya na 'to at mas wala na ang kaba ko. I hope...:p
OK, aral na. Isang linggo na lang, malaya ka na! Yipeeeee!
Err...Harry Potter, I hate you 'cause you're so much a distraction. haha. MUST NOT READ HP7 NOW. but i cannot resist so I'm reading a few chapters...hehe.
OK, aral na. Isang linggo na lang, malaya ka na! Yipeeeee!
Err...Harry Potter, I hate you 'cause you're so much a distraction. haha. MUST NOT READ HP7 NOW. but i cannot resist so I'm reading a few chapters...hehe.
16 July 2007
questions
will there come a time?
will the sun ever shine?
will all things come true?
or will reality just crush everything as always?
oh living an illusory life!
will the sun ever shine?
will all things come true?
or will reality just crush everything as always?
oh living an illusory life!
14 July 2007
gulong ng palad ;p
haay ang tadhana, sadyang mapaglaro. minsan asa ilalim ka, minsan naman feeling mo asa heaven ka na! ayayay. haha. Past three days rollercoaster talaga pero atleast, ngayong time na to as in right now, happiness galore :))))))
so chronological kwento tayo para malaman natin what transpired over the past few days.
Wednesday
1230pm
Nawala wallet ko because i'm born tanga! Argh, I was really depressed that time. I didn't even concentrate during Philosophy class...
430pm
Happiness! To cut a long story short, naibalik sa akin ang wallet ko! Oh my God! Happiness talaga! As in maiyak-iyak na ako sa tuwa dahil nabalik saken wallet ko. Just proved God is sooo goood.
Thursday
Lalang. haha.
Friday
330pm
STRESSSSSS over Opman Paper printing. Haay why did we have to be assigned to a newbie printer gurl. The process would've been much faster if she only knew computers even a little bit better. Ugh, pahirap sa buhay. haha.
530pm
Mcdonald's with fuhriends! Kahit di na ako umabot sa Barkada GA with sina Jen, Miggy, Maria and Chris and Monch to some extent, at least I spent time with Andrew and Deemuh.
some time last night
PFFT. TSS. ARGH.
Saturday
This afternoon
Pathways LOVE!!!
Tonight
Happiness. Euphoria. Glee. However you call it. Basta can't stop smiling. haha. Sana lagi na lang ganoon. haha.
How i wish talaga. Sana laging ganito ang araw ko.
Thus, energized ako for this final stretch of the JTA sem! GOGOGO!
so chronological kwento tayo para malaman natin what transpired over the past few days.
Wednesday
1230pm
Nawala wallet ko because i'm born tanga! Argh, I was really depressed that time. I didn't even concentrate during Philosophy class...
430pm
Happiness! To cut a long story short, naibalik sa akin ang wallet ko! Oh my God! Happiness talaga! As in maiyak-iyak na ako sa tuwa dahil nabalik saken wallet ko. Just proved God is sooo goood.
Thursday
Lalang. haha.
Friday
330pm
STRESSSSSS over Opman Paper printing. Haay why did we have to be assigned to a newbie printer gurl. The process would've been much faster if she only knew computers even a little bit better. Ugh, pahirap sa buhay. haha.
530pm
Mcdonald's with fuhriends! Kahit di na ako umabot sa Barkada GA with sina Jen, Miggy, Maria and Chris and Monch to some extent, at least I spent time with Andrew and Deemuh.
some time last night
PFFT. TSS. ARGH.
Saturday
This afternoon
Pathways LOVE!!!
Tonight
Happiness. Euphoria. Glee. However you call it. Basta can't stop smiling. haha. Sana lagi na lang ganoon. haha.
How i wish talaga. Sana laging ganito ang araw ko.
Thus, energized ako for this final stretch of the JTA sem! GOGOGO!
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